‘I Shall Be Very Surprised if There Isn’t a Next Chapter’: A Q&A With Sarah Coakley: How do I pray? Well, you hand yourself over to the source of your being, and then you ask some things. But the handing over is primary, and learning how to do that. It changes your perspective on God — because when you practice this, even for a very short time each day, simple opening up space in which God is God. You don’t control it. That’s what’s so frightening.