Michal Leibowitz: But ultimately, we did what I think a lot of people in the past must have done: We put aside our doubts and tried to trust that we were not the first to have these worries and that, most probably, we would be able to handle the struggles as they came.

I rarely thought of growing up with this norm as a privilege or a stroke of luck. But now I wonder if it was.

Because increasingly, outside subcultures like mine, having a child in America is becoming a life-cycle stage you have to opt in to, rather than the default you must opt out of. Child rearing is something you consider doing when you have extensive savings and a good career and a perfect partner and are at peace with yourself and your choices and are sure that you can guarantee your kid a life of success and happiness. Except, of course, you can never guarantee that for your child, just as your parents — much as they wanted to — could not guarantee it for you.