Mary Harrington: We are confusing contracts with covenants, and what that means for our relationships … a plausible place to start remedying this, for individual young adults, is not dating more but getting in more practice at showing up for others … Probably the means of showing up that’s both lowest-pressure and also most conducive to greater relatedness is going to church. I think there’s often a fear of being buttonholed and given the hard sell on God, but in my experience this doesn’t really happen; it’s more that if you show up enough times people will say hello and give you a biscuit and cup of tea after.